


if only to say, "you're mine"

by faexsolis



Series: sapphic songfic bonanza [2]
Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, basically jennie's gay awakening, no real plot details bc im lazy but it works ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:35:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27022102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faexsolis/pseuds/faexsolis
Summary: Jennie knows that she and Chaeyoung shouldn't feel like a crime.
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé
Series: sapphic songfic bonanza [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1972117
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	if only to say, "you're mine"

**Author's Note:**

> this is just embarrassing at this point but hii new drabble
> 
> i apologize in advance bc this is unbetaed and probably really shitty so im sorry, i make bad decisions when sleep deprived
> 
> disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and does not at all reflect these idols irl 
> 
> title from clairo's [sofia](https://youtu.be/L9l8zCOwEII)

"What's something on your bucket list?" Jennie asks Chaeyoung, snuggling in close to her. 

  
Chaeyoung glances over at Jennie fondly before swiveling her eyes to the intricate web of cracks patterning the ceiling. 

  
"A lot of things, honestly," she admits. "I mean, I think I'd want to be in a committed relationship eventually. Or even just date one person, 'cause I honestly don't think anyone would want to date me in the first place, y'know? Sometimes I feel like there's no one out there for me, and maybe I'm just a freak of nature that wasn't supposed to be."

  
"Wow," comes Jennie's quiet reply. "When I was talking about a bucket list, I meant skydiving or something. But. Um."

  
Chaeyoung laughs, not unkindly. "I mean, skydiving doesn't sound bad either."

  
Jennie turns on her side to face Chaeyoung properly, her gaze suddenly too intense and her chest suddenly too tight.

  
"Chaeyoung."

  
Jennie knows that the word is so quiet that Chaeyoung can barely hear it, but the way Chaeyoung suddenly stiffens is an indicator that she has more than heard her.

  
Swallowing hard, Chaeyoung whispers, "Yes?"

  
"Look at me."

  
The command isn't firm at all - rather, it's filled with palpable longing - and Jennie's throat constricts horribly.

  
Wordlessly, Chaeyoung turns to face her, and whatever Jennie had in mind escapes her. Lost in the shadows and intricacies of Chaeyoung's face, the only thing Jennie can feel is desperation. Desperation to reach out, to wrap her arms around Chaeyoung and just hold her until she knows that she's loved.

  
Jennie loves her.

  
Chaeyoung is so much more to her than just a best friend, or even a sister. Jennie's not even sure if there's a word to describe the feeling gnawing at her chest - the all-encompassing, dizzying rush of euphoria that Chaeyoung gives her. 

  
It's not like this is news, per se - Jennie's always been cheered up by the sight of Chaeyoung, and Chaeyoung has always filled her with a rush of warmth. But the longing that runs deep within her, that's new.

  
And it's terrifying.

  
"So, um," Chaeyoung speaks, tearing Jennie out of her reverie. "What were you about to say?"

  
Jennie lowers her eyes, blinking away the crystalline droplets of betrayal threatening to spill over.

  
"I know a girl," she half-whispers. Forcing her voice to swell in volume, Jennie adds, "She's bi-curious, I think. Super sweet, pretty, great all around. I can introduce you guys."

  
Chaeyoung blinks a couple times in understandable confusion. "What?"

  
Jennie forces a smile. "Her name's Jisoo, and she's in my Physics."

  
"Oh, really?"

  
Widening her smile, Jennie nods emphatically. "Yeah, I think you'd really like her."

  
"Really?"

  
"I'll text her about it," Jennie concludes, her face physically hurting from all the fake smiling. "I'm excited for you."

  
Chaeyoung doesn't respond, instead turning around to face the other side.

  
In a panic that she's done something wrong, Jennie scoots over and wraps her arms around Chaeyoung, but it's just as the other girl is turning back around. 

  
Jennie's body is inevitably slammed into Chaeyoung's, and their proximity is such that Chaeyoung's lips - _Jesus Christ_ , have they always been such a plush, tantalizing pink? - nearly ghost over Jennie's.

  
For a moment, Jennie's body stills, and the only thing she can hear is the combined sound of her labored breathing and pounding heart.

  
And then Chaeyoung pushes her off with a pained grunt.

  
"Dude, when the fuck did you get this heavy?" Chaeyoung mutters, her pretty lips twisting into a scowl.

  
Jennie, whose heart has yet to stop racing, mutters a half-hearted "Sorry," before turning around and pulling the blanket up to her chin.

  
"Good night, Jendeukie," Chaeyoung mumbles sleepily.

  
"Good night," Jennie whispers. Her throat closes up as the aforementioned crystalline droplets slide gracefully down the bridge of her nose, collecting on the lavender pillowcase.

  
Jennie doesn't know why she's crying. She doesn't know why it hurts when she thinks of Chaeyoung, or why her heart still hasn't calmed down yet. Heck, Jennie doesn't even know why she brought Jisoo up in the first place.

But she's willing to chalk it up to the fact that maybe she's just too attached to Chaeyoung (as a friend!) to let her go. Maybe she's just being overprotective of her best friend.

  
Yeah, that's probably it.

  
Ignoring the twinge of _maybe it's something else_ coming from the back of her mind, Jennie pulls the sheets closer. Forcing her thoughts to Hyojoon, her FWB-slash-kinda-maybe-boyfriend, Jennie drifts off.

  
But even as her dream morphs Hyojoon's strong, masculine hands to slimmer, more delicate ones, and the roughness of his stubble to smooth, to baby-soft skin and plush, glossed lips, Jennie wakes up the next morning to an empty bed and virtually no recollection of her dream.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if this was pure unadulterated shit but if it was half coherent hmu in the comments or on my [tumblr](https://faexsolis.tumblr.com/)/[twitter](https://twitter.com/faexsolis)!!


End file.
